I Scrubbed the Shit Out of That Thing

So here's another little cultural note for you:

A while ago my roommates and I organized a system in which we could maintain the cleanliness of our apartment. And It works well. One of us cleans the bathroom, another cleans the kitchen and then another cleans the living room.

Whenever it's my turn to clean the bathroom, I clean it as I've always cleaned bathrooms: with bleach, a sponge, a mop and some elbow grease... I feel that I've always gotten by with this system fairly well; however, this is apparently not enough in Israel. It has occurred to me that there is a national obsession in Israel with pointing out the littlest blemish in any sort of bathroom cleaning job, even if it looks immaculate afterwards.

A couple of weeks ago, my roommate Ofer got home from work, smelled the smell of bleach and soap in the air, and quickly inspected the bathroom. I saw him go into the bathroom and thought that he'd come out and give me a compliment on my great job. But no.

"Josh, man, there's a spot in the toilet bowl that you didn't get to".

"Umm really? I scrubbed the shit out of that thing (pun intended)".

"Ya look, man. It's right here. What were you thinking, man?"

Looking in the bowl there was a milimeter wide stain that looked like it had been there for years.

"Josh, man, you will suffer in the army, man" he said nodding with a wide grin, his eyes wide with delight. "But don't worry, man, you will learn how to clean like me".

I guess after the mental damage of scrubbing toilets that basic training incurs on young recruits (or draftees I should say), it must be like seventh fucking heaven to see another, silly younger guy, not making the "immaculate" grade with bathroom cleaning. Perhaps it a little sadism at work after having had commanders do the same to them.

The same thing happened a week later with my other roommate. I spent like an hour cleaning the kitchen one day trying to prove these goddamn roommates of mine wrong that I can clean well. Just as Ofer had done, Ayala, came home and looked at my "immaculate" job.

"Jooohsh"

"Ya"

"You didn't clean the inside of the trash".

"The inside of the trash??"

"Yes loook at this spot on the inside of the trash", she said referring to the trash can and pointing at a tiny spot of pasta sauce.

So this is what I will have to look forward to. One of the skills I'll pick up in the army will be not a skill, but an emotion. Sadism will run through my veins and will force me to quantitatively and qualitatively assess bathroom and kitchen cleanliness like some sort of OCD maniac. I'll be a head case like these guys. Great.

On a side note, yet related to this post. I found out that for my 6 months in the army, I'll most likely serve on a base in the north of Israel, near the sea of Galillee - which is one of my favorite places in Israel. I've been trying to set up a living situation on a kibbutz in the Golan Heights (closeby) for during my service. So, I'm excited about that and about the possible roles available to me. I'll keep everyone updated.

But, for now. I actually have to clean the bathroom again. It's my turn this week. Wish me luck.